To strive, to seek, to find…

A survey by British digital channel UKTV, on the occasion of the launch of Channel Dave, has found that 3000 “comedy fans” reckon that Oscar Wilde was a bit funny. In fact, he got 20% of the vote - yes, 600 peeps think he’s très amusant!

Which other totally surprising figures of great personal wit made the Top 10?

Okay, so there are some shockers: Liam Gallagher at 10 and Brian Clough, who had something to do with forests, at 9. Hm.

From The Telegraph, here is the Hit Wit Parade:

1 Oscar Wilde: “Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.”

Yeah we hear that! The thought that Wildey might have frequented brekkie saddens a little, so here are a few more morsels of sage-like comedy:

“Experience is the name we all give to our mistakes.”

Sing it sistah.

“Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed.”

Right. There go all my dreams.

“Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative. “

Me like. Glad to see being a wit isn’t all depression and proto-feminism.

2 Spike Milligan: “A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.” Yeah. “I told you I was ill” on the gravestone is better.

That amused me. I’m not so sure about the curry-loving daleks however. Further searches for him on YouTube will show that his stuff hasn’t aged all that well. Still, y’know, RIP Mr Runner-up.

3 Stephen Fry: Hurrah! This one’s not dead! He says: “It is a cliche that most cliches are true, but then like most cliches, that cliche is untrue.” Mind-bending but awesome. See also:

On being gay: “My first words, as I was being born… I looked up at my mother and said, ‘that’s the last time I’m going up one of those’.”

I would argue that he went down the birth canal in that instance, but still, the honesty is refreshing.

“Old Professors never die, they just lose their faculties.”

Pun-tastic. Good work.

Estate agents. You can’t live with them, you can’t live with them. The first sign of these nasty purulent sores appeared round about 1894. With their jangling keys, nasty suits, revolting beards, moustaches and tinted spectacles, estate agents roam the land causing perturbation and despair. If you try and kill them, you’re put in prison: if you try and talk to them, you vomit. There’s only one thing worse than an estate agent but at least that can be safely lanced, drained and surgically dressed. Estate agents. Love them or loathe them, you’d be mad not to loathe them.

YES. Fantastic.

More of his good work:

Old-skool Fry. Bless.

Aside: Kenneth Williams was voted for in another poll for another cable channel.

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