Phone-Hacking: The Movie
Starring a crumpled hanky as Rupert Murdoch
“This is the humblest day of my life.”
A chilly draft as James Murdoch
“I have no knowledge of that.”
Two-time Academy Award Winner Frosty the Snowman as Wendi Deng
“.”
Katy Perry as Johnny Marbles and THAT PIE
“It’s not difficult to find reasons to dislike Rupert Murdoch.”
Renowned salty sea dog Rebekarrrrr Wade as Rebekah Brooks
“We have paid the police for information in the past.”
David Cameron as Andy Coulson
“I’ve got nothing to be ashamed of, and this goes for everyone on the NoW, in what we do for a living.”
Andy Coulson as David Cameron
“As director of communications for the Conservatives, he does an excellent job in a proper, upright way at all times.”
Elisabeth Murdoch and Matthew Freud (her on his shoulders in an extra-long raincoat, you know, like they do in cartoons) as Louise Mensch
“Sorry, gotta pick up my kids from school, bye!”
Paul McMullan as Paul McMullan/Hugh Grant/Steve Coogan/Sienna Miller/any other celeb
“Privacy is for paedos!”
Dom Joly and his giant phone as everyone else involved
“Maybe just text me?”
Slated for release by 20th Century Fox in 2113 when this all finally ends and Grace and Chloe Murdoch own the copyrights to all of our lives
