1) Targeting the suburbs.

I was surprised to see Bozza canvassers lining Hornchurch High Street when I was down there a few weeks ago, but why? Havering is a true-blue Tory area, always has been, and his minions were preaching to the converted. Didn’t get much of that when I went to vote just off Richmond Avenue, once home of T. Blair.

Make it all the way out to zone 6, and you’ll also find that they love their cars. Figures.

2) Gordon Brown having a total 10p shocker. Way to alienate some proper Labour voters there!

3) Ken Fatigue. I still like him, but 8 years is too long.

4) Media obsession with Ken v BoJo meant that Brian Paddick’s slightly lacklustre campaign never got off the ground. Beyond Labour and Tory, you know no one else has a chance of winning.

5)

Thanks, Merton (and Hislop, a bit).

Seek and ye shall find. Ob-sessed.

[Derek] Jarman gave Barnbrook his first film camera. He also introduced him to the future Oscar-winning actress Tilda Swinton, whom Barnbrook has since described as an ex-girlfriend.

But Barnbrook’s time in this liberal artistic milieu will always be remembered for his writing and directorship of the 58-minute film HMS Discovery: A Love Story which archives describe as “Marxist Gay cinema”.

Ho ho ho.

(I didn’t write the entry btw, it was like that when I found it!)

In case that text is too small:

Paperbins were first invented in 1852 by an english donkey farmer called Harold J Pumpanickel. Its name come from the latin ‘papierum’ meaning made in china, and ‘binatus’ meaning will fall apart. The original use for the device was as an elephant repelant and was named product of the year for 10 year running (1853-63). It wasn’t untill 1926 that, due to an admin error, a paperbin was was baught by one Joeseph Spanknasty, upon seeing the devise and realizing his mistake he flung it into a corner and deposited his recipt inside, and thus, the paperbin was born.

Johnson - or to give him his full name, Boris LOL!!!! what a legernd!! Johnson!!! - is a TV character loved by millions for his cheeky, bumbling persona. Unlike the cartoon MP, he’s magnetically prone to scandal, but this somehow only makes him more adorable each time. Tee hee! Boris has had an affair! Arf! Now he’s offended the whole of Liverpool! Crumbs! He used the word “picaninnies”! Yuk yuk! He’s been caught on tape agreeing to give the address of a reporter to a friend who wants him beaten up! Ho ho! Look at his funny blond hair! HA HA BORIS LOL!!!! WHAT A LEGERND!!!!!!

Thank you Mr Brooker.

And why? Because he is a cartoon character. He is not real and he does not exist. Voting him in would be quite a lot like voting in a giant haystack that’s had elocution lessons.

Beej has promised to “beef up” health services in London. The last time someone said that, P.G. Wodehouse gasped and said, “How quaint! I really must put that in one of my books.” Boz has also threatened to “fight for a lasting legacy for London; the after-effects of the Olympics must be felt for decades.” He thinks “Congestion has now risen above pre-Congestion Charge levels.” Do you need more?! Okay then…

Also: other stuff. Judge for yourself.

In the end it came down to a single-page letter, written in Hebrew and Arabic and hand-delivered by an Israeli army officer who knocked at the front door. The letter spelt the imminent destruction of the whitewashed three-storey home and small, tree-lined garden that Bassam Suleiman spent so long saving for and then built with his family a decade ago.

It was a final demolition order, with instructions to evacuate the house within three days.

From The Guardian

Compare…

Set in the Zur HaSharon, Salma‘s lemon grove – planted fifty years before by her late, beloved father – comes under threat when the Israeli Defence Minister moves in next door, and the Secret Service deems her trees a potential haven for terrorists. He wants the trees to be uprooted; she takes her fight to the Israeli Supreme Court in Jerusalem.

It‘s a journey that takes Salma from the warmly-lit, domestic familiarity of her kitchen to the glaring, harsh lights of the paparazzi and international press at the court. The lemon grove itself becomes a symbol of Salma‘s oppression. Under her care, it is full of lush, fertile trees, but, after the Israelis fence it off and ban her from entering, the plants slowly die, the lemons thudding to the ground.

From me at the Berlinale Talent Campus

Spot the difference…

Gotta love Berlinale comments.

Berlin Film Festival 2008

However one person who sadly wasn’t in attendance was Boy A actor, Andrew Garfield. Andrew was following in the footsteps of such luminaries as Daniel Craig and Rachel Weisz as the British candidate (selected by British Council’s Film Department) for 2008’s Shooting Stars (EPP) talent parade – one of nine actors chosen from a total of 27 European Union countries to participate in this fiercely-competitive event. His commitments to the new Terry Gilliam film meant that he was unfortunately stuck in Canada and therefore unable to attend.

The British in Berlin Stand funded by the British Council and the UK Film Council returned to the European Film Market and its prime location at the entrance of the Martin Gropius Bau, maintaining its provision of information for the British film industry and home to a record 15 UK sales agents. The Market now second only to Cannes on the international film industry calendar had a record year and though precise statistics have yet to be provided, this was reflected in the brisk business done at the Stand.

The British Stand also co-hosted a small but successful drinks reception for Russian buyers in conjunction with Film Export UK and the UKTI, whilst Tuesday 12th saw over 600 guests attend the Council’s annual party, a jewel in the Berlinale’s social crown, this year taking place in the Gruener Saal of the Volksbuhne in former East Berlin.

Rounding off an all together successful Berlinale, 2008 saw the British Council provide travel grants for 37 British filmmakers to attend the sixth edition of the Berlin Talent Campus, the Festival’s highly-acclaimed, week-long international film school which plays host to over 350 emerging talents picked from the whole array of filmmaking from production to cinematography from 120 countries.

from Britmovie.net

Thank you v. much, British Council. Good party, too.

This is crying out to be made into a hard-hitting, occasionally lightened by humorous comic moments, documentary. Or a really boring Bond film:

Council uses criminal law to spy on school place applicants

· Couple’s anger over surveillance admission
· Officials accused of playing James Bond

The authority said it had used such “physical surveillance” on six occasions under RIPA, which allows councils to carry out surveillance only if they suspect serious crimes, including terrorism.

A council yesterday admitted using laws designed to track serious criminals to spy on a family for nearly three weeks to find out if they were lying about living in a school catchment area.

The family are angry after Poole borough council, in Dorset, revealed it had followed them and watched them at home to check whether they lived in the correct area for one of their three children, a three-year-old girl, to be accepted at a local school.

From The Guardian

I thought London was supposed to be bad for catchment area fiddling. We’ve got nothing on the West Country here, nothing.